Meditate Your Way to Better Sex

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As Valentine’s Day approaches–along with the much anticipated release of the steamy 50 Shades of Grey film– sex is on the forefront of our cultural psyche. What is the magic to having better sex? We try exotic herbs, provocative lingerie, expensive meals out, and even prescription medications in our quest for a rocking sex life. But the answer to better sex is deceptively simple and doesn’t require any fancy potions. Here is the big secret:

Be present.

The path to becoming present is meditation. Yes, meditation. I know it is not as exciting as eating a goat’s penis, but….

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Women Who Don’t Orgasm

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I saw an older rom-com last weekend titled: “Because I Said So” with Diane Keaton playing a neurotic mother trying to find a partner for her youngest still single daughter.   While the movie is not one of Keaton’s best (hands down Annie Hall), the moment that touched me the most (no big spoiler alert here) was when she let her daughter know that she had never experienced an orgasm.

The female orgasm is under the microscope again in the media but for different reasons.

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Resources for Non-Monogamous Relationships

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I am seeing increasing numbers of relationships which choose to embrace different expectations of monogamy and sexual fidelity. Many of these couples (I’ll say couples here, but many relationships are more complicated than that) struggle to find therapists and supports in their lives, as they approach the work related to making such relationships succeed. All relationships require work, but non-monogamous relationships have unique challenges. There are lots of different “flavors,” labels and choices available to such couples and relationships, and many different ways to design their relationships. This wide range of choices can…

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Premature Ejaculation: Causes and 10 Tips for Treatment

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As a couples and sex therapist in private practice, I am often astonished at how many men and couples come to see me trying to fix premature ejaculation. Many men suffer with shame and embarrassment about feeling that they ejaculate too quickly, leading them to have anxiety about sex and their performance.

According to The Mayo Clinic, the exact cause of premature ejaculation isn’t known. While it was once thought to be only psychological, doctors now know premature ejaculation is more complicated and involves a complex interaction of psychological and biological factors combined.

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What’s Really Behind Rebound Sex

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The ending of a close romantic relationship is difficult for all involved. There’s no one “best” way to cope with a breakup, and much depends on timing, but one likely outcome is that people look for rebound relationships. When those involve sex, especially casual hookups, the impact actually may be to magnify the extent of the loss.

Although there are ample online sources of advice about how to handle the temptation to engage in rebound (or revenge) sex, there is surprisingly little research. University of Missouri psychologists Lindsay Barber and Lynne Cooper (2014) could find….

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Resolution for a Better Sex Life in 1 Weekend, 3 Commitments

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How many times have you wished for a better sex life?  Resolve using these concrete suggestions to make in happen in the new year!  Prioritize your intimate life, fine-tune what works and expand your sexual repertoire. Here’s your step-by-step instructions to recommit to and re”vamp” the bedroom!
Even if you are married and still doing it too, an occasional jolting out of sexual complacency will help you reach a new level of skill, pleasure and connection. I’ve often suggested that well-functioning couples reserve a hotel room for a few nights in lieu of therapy to see if this intense focus alone helps them to reconnect emotionally and rekindle sexually.

The New You and Relationship Resolutions

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Start the year off by ‘doing you.’ 

Instead of criticizing yourself today for whatever you perceive you are lacking in terms of relationships (stressful marriage, fear of a life alone without love, lack of meaningful friendships, contentious work relationships, difficulty with your children or parents) take a step back and closely examine how you deal with yourself. Building your relationship with yourself will have far reaching impact on improving the quality of your romantic relationships and friendships, as well as enhancing your motivation and drive to get what you want out of life.

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Don’t Just Salvage Your Relationship—Recreate It!

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Positive connotations for the word salvage aren’t particularly favorable. Think about it. To salvage something typically involves rescuing or reclaiming it after it’s been all but lost or destroyed. So whatever is retrieved is probably damaged or disintegrating. It’s hardly in the best shape. It’s intriguing that the original meaning of the word relates to saving something from disaster—such as a fire or shipwreck. So, if you’re in a relationship that over time has seriously decayed, merely “saving” it from its final demise doesn’t indicate that you’ve made it significantly better. Maybe the two of you have made it good enough not to split up—but not much more than that.

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People in Open Relationships May Be Healthier and Happier

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As I’ve written before, there’s a widespread belief that people in open relationships are less healthy and happy than people in monogamous relationships. With intensified empirical research into alternative relationships over the past few years, such beliefs are starting to look more and more like empty myths. A new study just published in Sexual and Relationship Therapyadds to this conclusion: Older adults in open relationships reported being happier, healthier, and more sexually active than the general population of similar age and relationship status[1].

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