Toy Stories


In his 2009 book Forensic and Medico-legal Aspects of Sexual Crimes and Unusual Sexual Practices, Dr. Anil Aggrawal defines plushophilia as a “sexual attraction to stuffed toys or people in animal costume, such as theme park characters.” However, other online sources simply define plushophilia as a sexual paraphilia involving stuffed animals. Sexual and pornographic activities involving animal anthropomorphism (including plushophilia), is known among the plushophile community as “yiffing.”

Plushophiles are often referred to as plushies, although as I noted in a previous article on the Furry Fandom, the term can also refer to stuffed animal enthusiasts who…

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7 Reasons She’s Not in Orgasmic Heaven

Orgasm is the sexual carrot. It’s the big bang in our tiny universe. Feeling desire is exquisite but pining without satisfaction for the long run is frustrating. Without it, a woman will stop becoming easily aroused. Her desire will extinguish. No big bang means sex is no big deal.

I’m not talking about the occasional night when she says, “Listen baby–I’m not in the mood myself, but I’d love to make you happy.”  Overall, it’s a woman’s prerogative to decide if this time she wants a climax. It’s true that sometimes….

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Sex After Breast Cancer


The bad news is that breast cancer can wreak havoc with women’s sexuality, and therefore, men’s. But the good news is that by two years after treatment, couples in supportive relationships usually adjust and enjoy sex as much as ever—sometimes more.

Of course, any cancer can impair sexuality. Diagnosis is traumatic and treatment side effects often include desire-killing fatigue, depression, hair loss, and nausea. But sex after breast cancer is particularly problematic because women’s breasts are so intimately connected with sexual attractiveness and erotic play.

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On Being Female and Sexual Agency


There is a new buzz term in sex education land, and it’s called “Sexual Agency.” When people talk about any kind of personal “agency,” they are referring to an individual’s ability to act in a way that accomplishes his or her goals. To have agency in any corner of your life is to have the capacity to behave or act in a way that will bring you the outcome or results that you desire.

When we talk about “Sexual Agency,” we may be talking about a complex group of rights, knowledge, skills, personal authority and/or abilities.

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Female Orgasms: Getting Off or Getting On?

Both men and women experience orgasm. Measurable signs include rapid, cyclical contractions of muscles around the sex organs and anus, accompanied by characteristic changes in heart rate, blood pressure and often breathing. In both sexes, orgasm is involuntary  —  controlled by the autonomic nervous system. Scans of brain activity during orgasm show that energy turnover is maintained or increased in areas connected with the autonomic nervous system. By contrast, turnover temporarily declines in the cortex. Could this account for “mindless” pleasure?

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The Sex-Starved Marriage Secret


Do you and your spouse have a sexual desire gap? If so, you’re not alone. Did you know that 1 in 3 couples struggles with this sexual dilemma? But just because you aren’t alone, it doesn’t mean you should be complacent about a ho-hum sexual relationship. You shouldn’t. It can lead to a miserably angry spouse, infidelity, and divorce. If you don’t believe me, watch this TEDx talk on The Sex-Starved Marriage

And although solutions to this sexual divide abound in magazines, self-help books and other pop psychology outlets, there is a little talked about fact underlying the problems associated…

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The Pros and Cons of Faking Orgasm


In the beginning of a relationship, before a woman feels trusting and open, and both parties are working to deepen the emotional connection, the pressure can make it difficult for a woman to achieve orgasm. But it was shown long ago that one of the most arousing aspects of the heterosexual sexual experience for men is being able to turn on a woman. Many women learn through time that the more sexually expressive they allow themselves to be (or seem), the more their partner enjoys the sex. This means that, especially early in the relationship, women may fear

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Achy Joints? Regular Sex to the Rescue

Has a doctor ever advised, “Go home and make love frequently”? Probably not. But for the estimated 35 million American adults with persistent joint pain, this prescription makes perfect sense. Sex is surprisingly therapeutic for aching joints.

Mention “joint pain,” and people think “arthritis,” which many believe strikes only older adults. Actually, you don’t have to be eligible for Medicare to suffer it. There are dozens of types of arthritis, but the most prevalent is osteoarthritis (OA). Many young people suffer it….

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The Fascinating Truth About Women and Sex Over 50


When a woman calls me for sexuality coaching she is often around 50 years old. Sure, I help women in their fabulous forties and younger, and while the sexuality wake-up call can happen at any time, for many women, turning 50 triggers their sexuality alarm clock in a big way. And I love it – because this emerging interest in their sex life often results in the best sex they have ever had.

There is a willingness in a woman over 50 to finally let go of the myths that may have haunted her for her entire life. She may be..

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Should You Have Sex by the Book?

I’m fascinated by the number of sex position books on the market. On my office shelves I can find the Kama Sutra, the Cookie Sutra (gingerbread cookies having sex), books for pregnant couples, for people who masturbate, for straight couples, for older people, for people wiith disabilities and chronic illness, for gays, for lesbians, for really limber people, and for people into bondage…to name a few.

As a sexuality educator, I know that some people need help figuring out how to work around arthritic joints, pelvic pain, disabilities, pregnant bellies, or hip replacements. And people trying…

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